Mortgaging My Soul, Once Again

BAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’ve spent the better part of an hour and a half working on my blog.  Apparently the Blog.com gods didn’t take kindly to me bitching about them so they took away my header image.

Fuck.

So, I had to scour the internet for about a half an hour until I found an image that I liked.

So, after I got it put up and squared away, I noticed that, sweet, the white background behind my posts stopped in the middle of the screen.  The the rest of the posts had that weird blue background instead of the white, so it basically looked freaking retarded.

So, after much dancing around and screaming, I was looking at another blogging service.  However, there were none that I liked as well.  So, I looked back on Blog.com and I just picked a different template and switched things around…

So, that’s why my blog looks different.

Not that I had nothing else to do this evening, mind you.  I was forced to.

And that’s the number one reason why you never piss off the Blog.com gods…

Amen. 

I know that you look at the title of this posting and you think to yourself, “There’s no such things as Magical Vaginas.”

However, I think the very definition of a Magical Vagina is “A vagina that is first not there and then, with a wave of your hand, magically appears into existence in front of you.”

Apparently Britney Spears has a Magical Vagina.  And, according to ancient lore, the only way to kill a Magical Vagina is to stuff it with moth balls, pickle it, and then burn the body that it’s attached to at the stake while dancing around it, doing the ancient “Monkey Dance.”

And, while all of you that know me realize that I’m not a fan of stuffed, pickled, toasty vaginas (even though the Monkey Dance is a favorite of mine), I do have to say that I would do this.  Not for my sake or my family’s sake, but for the sake of humanity.

And, for those of you that dare to stare into the Pit of Darkness And Despair, I bid you good health and tidings and enter here.  Be sure to click on the smaller photos below the larger photo to get to the real juicy, yet soul destroying, photos.  Sure, I survived, but when you don’t have a soul, you don’t have much to lose Precious.