Mortgaging My Soul, Once Again

So, the past couple of days I’ve been MIA, but for good reason, I assure you.

Wednesday we all went to Grandma and Grandpa Sullivan’s apartment for the pseudu-Thanksgiving celebration.  I called mom beforehand and asked her, for the love of everything, not to get KFC chicken.  Or, at the very least, tell me that they’re getting KFC so that I can get something else to eat.  Because, as I mentioned before, I still have flashbacks of the KFC incident of 2002.  However, much to my delight, mom was getting Lee’s chicken.  And, while I’ve never had Lee’s, I guessed that it had to be less bloody.  Which, after eating a couple pieces, I was pleased to find out that I was correct.

After eating, we spent about an hour or so talking with everyone.  I’ve been really enjoying visiting with Grandma and Grandpa Sullivan.  And, strangely enough, they’ve been really happy with Mike and I.  I was actually kind of worried that they would not approve and shun Mike as they are conservative Southern Baptists.  However, they even made mention to Mom later that evening after we left that they really liked Mike and were glad that Mike felt comfortable to come back to their apartment.   So, another person that likes Mike better then me….sweet.

So, Thanksgiving Thanksgiving was pretty uneventful.  I went to Grandma and Grandpa Pond’s place, as usual, for lunch.  Mike went over to his family’s for Thanksgiving, so I didn’t even really see him that day.  I was probably at the grandparents for about 4 hours.  I spent most of the time chatting with family and making my Christmas list and checking it twice, trying to find out who was naughty so I can figure out who gets the best gifts hehe.  I needed to get my list together for my special Day After holiday.  The most joyous of days…

So after Thanksgiving I go over to the Moeller’s to go over the flyers and specials and to strategize who’s going where.  For the amateurs out there that have never done this, you have to have a battle plan with multiple points of attack in order to survive Black Friday and to get the best deals.  Melissa’s mother and father had Meijers, Jackie (Melissa’s sister) and their cousin, Jenny, had Walmart and Menards, and Melissa and I had OfficeDepot and Elder-Beerman.  Sweetness.

As people can tell you, I love my Day After holiday.  It’s my Christmas.  I don’t go shopping for the deals; I go there for the experience, the hunt, and the craziness that surely ensues.  And this year I wasn’t disappointed.  I went to bed at 9:30 as I had to get up at 4:00AM.  And, precious, it didn’t work out quite the way I wanted it to.

I laid in bed from 9:30 until 2:30AM, tossing and turning, thinking of the joyous shopping that will be happening shortly.  Unable to sleep, I took a shower and got around, praying to the gods for a wonderful and freeing shopping experience that I can tell my grandchildren.  I got to the Moeller’s house 3:15AM with no sleep; yet looking so pretty.

Melissa and I hit the shops hard, throwing our credit cards around like no body’s business.  By the time that we hit the first shop at 5:00AM, my mind had this weird fuzzy feeling and I had some problems concentrating.  As you can imagine, it only got worse.  I was walking around the rest of the day like a zombie, trying to focus on the prize.  Near the end of the shopping experience I don’t really remember.  I just remember whipping out my credit card a lot *laughs*.  When we got back home (FYI, I wasn’t driving, which probably gives you and all pedestrians relief) and had a 3 hour super-power nap, I looked at my spoils and was pleased with my spoils.

I got about $70 worth of Bath & Body for $30 bucks, $6 rolls of wrapping paper for $2 each, a fleece throw that was originally $40 for $10, and a couple other odds and ends pretty cheap.  So I was very pleased with the shopping experience.  I just wish that I was more coherent to remember some of it hehe 

Hope you guys have a happy Thanksgiving :)  

And, for those of you that will be out shopping tomorrow early in the AM, getting the Doorbuster Deals, I’ll be out with you!!!! 

So, not related to the title of my post, work was freaking crazy today. I was freaking swamped during most of the day, dealing with weird and bizarre things that were going on. However, in the midst of this craziness, Mike called me to let me know that he was coming up from the Carolinas and would probably be home around 6:30 or 7. So, I was like, bonus. I then asked him if he was bringing me any pretties. He laughed and told me no. So I then proceeded to tell him how much I like my pretties and, if he really loved me, he would buy me some. He laughed again and said bye to me. So, since I was in the middle of mayhem, I didn’t give it much thought, as I give him hell all of the time ’cause he doesn’t buy me enough sparkles and bling.

So, I got home, let the dog out, fed her, and then called Mike to see where he was at ’cause I needed to know what I was doing for supper (aka him cooking or me fending for myself [aka depending on the kindness of strangers]). He didn’t answer his phone.

Damn

So, I made myself a couple salami sandwiches, a few cold pieces of pizza, and a cold piece of pumpkin pie that Mike made a couple of days ago. Sure, not the healthiest thing I could have whipped up, but I was tired, mentally burnt out, and, well, anyone that knows a little bit about me knows that I’m inherently lazy. So, those were the things that my little eyes spied when I opened the refrigerator door.

So anyways, after stuffing my face with a pseudo-nutritious meal, Mike gets home and tells me that he has my Christmas present and if he should give it to me now or sit it under the Christmas tree. Now, let me first take you back to when we first bought our house and had our first “Christmas Tree.” You can ask my sister-in-law about it; use the link on the right hand side to her blog. Of course, you’ll have to wait for her to stop pounding her head against the desk and, of course, after the brain surgery that will surely have to follow. *grins*.

So, our Christmas Tree is one of those outside plastic white trees. You know the ones that you’ve seen outside. The ones that are suspended by wires and all of that jazz. It takes 5 seconds to setup and plug in, it’s great!

I know, I know. It’s just…the artificial trees always look so damned, well, fake, and the real ones I have an issue with. I don’t see the point in killing something just for decoration that’ll be used for a month at most. And then disposing of it would be more hassle then it’s worth. And the needles all of the place and Zoie trying to eat it. So, the fake white Christmas Tree is our tree and it’s beautiful.

So anyways, back to Mike, I of course said now…because, well, I don’t really have any patience and I do love my pretties. So, I opened up an bag and it had Burberry cologne, which I LOVE! (which, FYI, is a funny story to go along with Burberry, but I’ll tell it later) So, I was excited by this. And then he handed me this wrapped box. So, I unwrapped it and opened it up and, hot damn, was a necklace! I was pretty damned excited ’cause my necklace that I wear now is, well, around 10 years old and it’s almost falling apart. And this one’s this real cute white gold one, very dainty, like me

So, anyways, afterwards Mike asked me why I didn’t put on the necklace. I told him I would do it tomorrow before going into work. Which he then said that I should do it now ’cause he “wants to see how great it looks on me.” Which, I had to correct him, “I make my bling look good, not the other way around.”

Silly boys anyways.

So, anyways, *OHHHH*

I almost forgot my Burberry story! You guys would have led hopeless and empty lives if I would have never told this to you! So, Mike (prior to getting me the cologne and necklace) was shopping around at the mall today and was in *laughs* JCPenny’s and asked them if they sold Burberry. *falls over laughing*. And, the sales lady looked at him and asked him if he was really serious. He, of course, not knowing what he was doing, said yes. She said that, no, they didn’t sell Burberry and that he would probably have to go to Columbus if he wanted to find it. I mean…it’s just so damned funny that a gay guy doesn’t know that Burberry, wherever it is hiding, would not be hiding in JcPennys. Sure, it would have been funnier if he would have went to Sears (because the softer side of Sears includes Burberry) or some place like that. hehe. But, for real? So then he was looking around for a cashmere sweater for me and apparently this mall didn’t have any of those either. Which, to be fair, it has to be a fairly ritzy mall to find a cashmere sweater for men.

I mean, it’s not like you can find it at Walmart, right Jennifer?

So anyways, on to some serious news.

I got a call from dad today telling me that they were going to do angioplasties on my Grandpa Sullivan for his heart last night. However, when they got in there, there was a lot more damage to his heart valve then what they originally thought. So, they weren’t able to do that. So now the doctors have to run some test and also look at the back of his heart to see about possibly doing open heart surgery. He had it done several years ago; they are now accessing if it’s worth the risk to go and do it again or to leave him how he is. *sighs*. I just hope that the doctors have the right knowledge to make the right decision on this one. Which I’m sure that they will; the cardiologists probably see this all of the time. It just makes me freaking nervous is all. So, everyone think of Grandpa for us!

Tomorrow evening we’ll be going over to Grandpa and Grandma Sullivan’s apartment to see them and also have a pseudo-Thanksgiving with them, since we’ll be having a Thanksgiving/Christmas party with them in two weeks with the Sullivan family. But, since we’re their only family in the immediate area, mom thought it would be nice to go over and visit them tomorrow evening. So, we’re gonna bring KFC (I think…or eat out, I’m not super sure. I hope not KFC…especially after the dreaded KFC Incident of 2002) over to their apartment.

Now, I know you’re all wondering about the dreaded KFC Incident of 2002. So, before I tell you this, you have to promise me, ok? Actually, two things:

1) Stop stuffing your face. No, I really mean it. Stomp chomping like it’s your last meal.

2) After I tell you this, you have to do either one of two things. Either:

a) Swear off KFC forever or;

b) Go out and order a super large bucket of extra crispy and eat the whole thing by yourself.

So, this tale is brief but very disturbing. Mike got KFC for us when we were living in Van Wert, OH in our apartment and brought it back to me, as I had much TV watching to absorb and my ass wasn’t gonna sit on the couch ALL by itself! So, I had the chicken and was eating it and thought to myself, “This chicken tastes kinda weird. The texture is kind of off and slimy.” So, me being hungry and absorbed in my TV, I took another bite or two. Then I looked down at my plate and it’s *SOAKED* in blood. My eyes got really big and I just stared at my plate, horrified by what I just put in my mouth. As you can guess, the blood came from the chicken, not by the ceiling that happened to have the Virgin Mary crying tears of blood for mankind. So, much to my surprise, I haven’t eaten at KFC since. And, I don’t think that I can bring myself to eating there again to be very honest.

I may have to call mom and ask her to pick me up something different, ’cause I’m not really sure I can cope with that, at least quite yet.

But, at the very least, it’ll be nice to see Grandma and Grandpa again

So today I went to my cousin’s kid’s birthday party, he just turned 3. Now, I don’t have a lot of experience with little kid’s birthday parties, but I expected it to be semi-loud and messy. However, to come to full grips of what I experienced, I need to tell you a tale of Insanity, Druggies, and Dirty Clothes.

Gods, the drama…

So anyways, just a side note before I begin, my cousin and his wife aren’t the most organized people in the world, God love them. And they’re constantly late. Like, at least a half an hour, sometimes more.  So, where shall we begin?

The Beginning:

So, I spent about 45 minutes getting ready today, ’cause it’s a party. And, apparently you’re supposed to look pretty. At least, this is what I thought. However, for 3 year old birthday parties, the rules must be different. I would have fit in better if I would have substituted my silk cashmere sweater for my hoodie. But, my bad, I didn’t know.

So, I got there around 12:30, being told that the party will be starting at 12:30 or 1 and we’ll be eating at that time. So, I get there on the early side because, knowing my cousin and his wife, they would probably need some help getting the stuff around. So, I get there and unleash my Gay Cleaning & Fabulousness powers and I was met with a force that my powers had no impact on. Something so fierce and soul destroying that my powers collapsed in front of me and made me cringe and step back a wee bit to get away.

The Birthday Boy

Apparently mommy decided to brush his hair and he wanted *NOTHING* to do with that. So, and I’m seriously not kidding you folks, he screamed at the top of his lungs for 15-20 minutes because his mother touched his hair. I mean, not just crying. He was running around the apartment, screaming, hitting people/objects, because he was pissed. I think he’s gonna be gay when he grows up ’cause I’ve known a few adult queens do that when people fuck with their hairdos. *smirks*

So, people were running around, dropping food off (it was kind of like a Thanksgiving Potluck Birthday Party Extravaganza…), and then this one lady dropped off this…and I’m using the word very loosely…stuffing. And, she apologized for not making it from scratch like what she promised. Which, is fine…I think that Stovetop stuffing is WAAAAYYYY better than home made. Yuck. That slimy nasty shit. So, the woman went to the store and apparently this grocery store sells these blocks of things. I’m not even really sure how to describe it. It kinda looked like these cut up flat square pieces of lard. However, they were stuffing. And, we looked at it and asked her how to cook/heat it up. She didn’t know. We looked at the container, there were no directions. So, we were left puzzled. And, even though I’m gay, I have no cooking powers…if it’s not microwavable or something I can toss in the oven, then it’s beyond me. So my uncle grabbed it, threw it in a skillet, and started frying it up *laughs*. I don’t think that anyone tried it so it was definitely worth the effort. It just looked to scary….

So, while the food was being prepared, I was running around the kitchen, trying to get things situated on the tables and what not (with the food that was done/brought, silverware, etc) and my cousin’s wife’s mother left her crap and her purse on the kitchen table. Well, one would think that the kitchen table would be used for, I dunno, the meal in some fashion or another. So I took it upon myself to take the food that she brought with her and put it where it belonged and also her purse and put it away in the “coat room.” Right after I did that she was freaking out, wondering what happened to her purse. I told her that I put it away, as I needed the kitchen table. She then gave me this dirty look. I looked right back at her, as I’m not taking her shit. If you’re that concerned with your purse and the “valuables” that it contains, then you shouldn’t have brought it with you in the first place, left it in the car and locked it, or not left it out of your sight.

So, then, the food was getting ready and the last thing that we needed was the paper plates. I asked my cousin’s wife where it was…her grandmother is bringing them. I asked her, “well, where’s grandma.” No one knew. It’s now 1:30, super late for lunch, and bitch is getting hungry. So, I told Melissa that I would go with her to get some paper plates, no big deal. So, I go off into the “coat room,” which is really the area under the stairs, which also has some kid’s toys there. So, I get there, and there’s this kid being pinned against this shelving that fell over and had him against the stairs. And, I looked and my cousin’s wife’s mother was sitting on the stairs, doing her make-up. I mean, the kid wasn’t screaming or anything, but still…lay off the fucking makeup and give the kid a hand!!! So, she said something about how she was gonna get to it, blah blah blah. *sighs*

Why did God punish me by making me perfect and littering my life with imperfect insane people?

So, I get the shelving off of the kid, shoo him and his minion away from the toys, get my coat, and my cousin’s wife and I started to head out the door. Then the wife’s mother starts telling her that we shouldn’t get the plates because it would hurt her grandma’s feelings etc etc etc. Hey, bitch is hungry! It’s not my fault that Grandma is freaking late! Hell, late must be genetic for this family!! So, we opened up the door and started to walk out of the door when…

When we ran into Grandma. With the plates

Hot Damn.

However, my cousin’s wife then tells me that she has to Cashland (one of those “We’ll give you money and hold onto your check for 2 weeks, then cash it and charge you a crazy amount of money in interest). One of the checks they weren’t supposed to get in the mail never came. So, off we went to Cashland. I’ve never been in there, it was kinda weird. It was like this bank type of setup, they even had a drive up window like a fast food restaurant where you can pay crazy amounts of interests on a small “loan.” And apparently they’ve teamed up with The General to offer insurance. And, being an insurance agent, I was looking over the little flier that they had for The General and I just giggled. I mean, it was totally geared towards the “minimum coverage for minimum budgets” type of mentality, which is just stupid. Sure, it’s nice paying the low premium until you cause a medium sized accident. Then The General would just bend you over and pop ya’ one in the ass ’cause you aren’t carrying enough liability coverage….

Ok, enough of that…

Ohhh, back up. So, my cousin’s wife tells me that she would drive (I’m assuming ’cause she can smoke in her car, not mine) and I go to get into her car and I instantly wished that I stayed at the apartment. First of all, the smell was awful. No, not cigarette smoke; shit smell. My cousin works on this hog farm and the whole damned car smelled like hog shit. UUUGGGGGHHHH!!!!

Oohhh, and when we got back, I was taking notice of the people there and looking at what they were wearing and some people…damn. I mean, I realize that it’s this informal birthday party for this kid. But, for the love of God, bathe. And, if you feel extra saucy, wash your clothes. You don’t go out of the house in these clothes that are either a) filthy or b) stained something terrible. You look like a hobo. And, for the love of everything, run a comb through your hair. Bathe please. Jesus…..

*sighs*

I mean, I don’t care if you’re wearing name brand clothing or anything. Just make sure your shit is clean and you run a comb through your hair and bathe every couple of days. Is that too much to ask for?? IS IT?!?!?!

So, needless to say, we finally were able to eat around 2ish. So, we ate and, while getting around the birthday cake for the birthday boy, I walked into the kitchen and saw my cousin’s brother looking through the prescription bottles on top of the refrigerator. Now, normally I would just assume this to be natural, however mildly inappropriate, behavior. I’ve been known to do it once or twice *ahem* But anyways, my cousin’s wife told me the other day that he was asking for some of their Vicodin. I asked her why he didn’t get his own prescription, she said that his doctor has cut him off. Now, right there, it screams to me addict. However, I don’t know this. But, when I saw this, I put two and two together. So, he left after I got into the kitchen and I told my cousin’s wife about what was going on and what I saw. So, fun fun there. She just put the drugs in her pocket and kept on going with the birthday boy’s cake.

So, after the cake, we opened up presents. And, needless to say, my birthday present was a SMASH!! I mean, what 3 year old boy doesn’t like a gun that’s really loud and flashes all of these colors? I mean, sure, my cousin and his wife hates me, but whatever :). I also got him a Veggie Tales DVD and a Spongebob Squarepants DVD, which I thought that he would enjoy

So, needless to say, I was there from 12:30 until almost 4. I was…beyond burnt out. I got home, Mike was making me the pumpkin pie I bought at Walmart (Bless you Walmart!) and I crawled into my pj bottoms and hoodie, curled up on the couch, and watched TV until Hell wouldn’t have it again…

So, I heard from Jess and Travis that Maya’s birth parents have decided to keep Maya due to their parents helping them raise the child. Which, is hugely disappointing to Travis and Jess, along with myself. I was getting all excited to shop for lil’ girlie things the Day After Thanksgiving (known as the most holiest of holidays). However, being that it is disappointing, it’s also the best possible alternative scenario; Maya gets to stay with her birth parents. And, like what Jessica was saying, at least they didn’t have the opportunity to bond with the child beforehand because of it being such an unusual situation.

I just really wanted to spoil her rotten, ya’ know Was gonna go to Macy’s and Baby Gap and buy her super cute outfits. *sniff*. But hopefully that’ll come soon.

I don’t think there’s anything else going on around here though.

Ohh. Apparently Brandi’s (my sister, which will be known as Dirty Sanitary Napkin Lady, or DSNL) car is going to die or already dead. I don’t know these things about cars. The head gasket went out of it and she is looking for a new car. Due to her age and lack of credit, she has to get it from one of these buy here/pay here car places. And, the interest rate is gonna be 21%!!!!!!!!!!! And, she’ll looking at this 1995 Buick Regal with 95,000 and they were wanting $6,100!!! Travis looked on Kelly Blue Book’s website, and, at MOST, it’s worth $4,500 in EXCELLENT condition. So…I think they’re smoking crack if they’re gonna get anyone to pay that amount for that car. *rolls eyes* But, we shall see.

Travis just left to play with Jessica for awhile. So, I’m sitting here, bored outa my mind. I just really wanna hurt myself right now….soooooooo booorrrrreedddddd!

So, I have been empowered by my fellow blogger Jennifer to find the gay items at Walmart.  I have decided that, since my brother and I have to hit Walmart tomorrow to get some pop for the agency that we work at, we will have to take a few moments to note and photograph these gay items.  And, dare I say it, we will not rest until we find the gay items.  Or 5 minutes, as I have ADD and really hot shoes that aren’t made for walking.  So, we will not rest, sleep, or eat until we find these items and show the world the family-orientated power-lusting company Walmart loves ‘em gays and have turned their backs on the Christian Pro-Family Culture.  (FYI, they’ve lowered the prices of several electronics here lately.  If you’re looking for a super fantabulous (not fabulous, fantabulous) gift for me, I would like a flat screen HDD TV.  Thank you, pease.)

So, yes Precious, I started my search…no, my quest..neigh, my jihad to find the gay items at Walmart.  This Holiest of Wars has been started this evening my brothers and sisters by searching online for any signs, clues, or boldfaced, capitalized items showing that, indeed, Walmart has forsaken us Precious.  And, I found a website which, while it did not state what Walmart was selling in particular, shows that a Christian group, the Operation Rescue/Operation Save America, will be wanting their members and Christians from all around to boycott Walmart starting the day after Thanksgiving.  Surely, one would think that starting immediately would be more effective.  But, starting it the day after Thanksgiving, the Holiest of all Shopping Days…someone there has a flare for the dramatic.  By the gods, The Gays must have infected that group as well.  Walmart must be destroyed!  (No, seriously, click on the past Walmart link and buy me that damned TV!!)

Ok, seriously though…I actually took a minute to look at this group’s website.  And, honestly, I have to say…I’m floored.  While I can’t wrap my mind around being that horrified that a company donates to gays, I can understand that they would be upset since gays are so horrid, molest little children, and shake their tight, hot asses well on the dance floor.  However, this lil’ snippet made me laugh.

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Wal-Mart also gave a generous cash donation to the Northwest Arkansas Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender Community Center, helping to provide a place where homosexuals can come together to “socialize.”

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And socialize was in parentheses, which I found humerus.  ‘Cause, what, gay community centers are a den of sick and twisted orgies?  *sighs*.  That ranks right up there with the gay mafia.  How in the *HELL* does this information get leaked out to the straights.  Damn Will and Grace, they have taught you all way too much about our hidden agendas and culture.  You all will wake up one day with bad perms, designer knockoff panties, and morning breath.  You shall be crippled, crippled I tell you!!  *waves fists wildly*

So, yes, stay tuned tomorrow, same time, same channel, for the news-breaking details on Walmart:  God Fearing Company or Child Molesters?
 

So, I got an email from Mike, stating that a drug company has issued a recall on their acetaminophen (Tylenol for the name brand buyers).  The drug company is Perrigo Co.  They do the generic acetaminophen for a lot of places, including Walmart, CVS, Meijers, Kmart, Kroger, pretty much everyone and their mother.  So, if you buy generic acetaminophen, go to this website, check it out, and see if you’re possibly taking some metal with your acetaminophen :).  Our bottle was in the contaminated batch.  I checked the website, seeing if they wanted us to send it in for some reason.  And, they gave an address that we could send it to, but they pretty much said to just toss it.  So, I tossed it and added it to my grocery list to get in the next day or so…don’t want to be without it for too long, just in case.  And, what’s funny, is that I’m planning to get the generic again *chuckles*.  I guess I just don’t learn, do I?

So, yes, make sure and check!

And, tomorrow Melissa and I are going to be going to Columbus to get an early start on Christmas shopping.  We just can’t wait for the day after Thanksgiving, apparently.  So, I have a couple of gifts in mind for a couple of people, but I don’t wanna buy everything at once.  It’s always better to spread the pain out in two months so I’m not freaking out completely when the credit card bill comes *ahem*.  So, it should be fun!