Sure, that doesn't really apply to me, but I've always wanted to say it. And with what happened yesterday, it's about as close as I can ever hope to get.
So, as you can imagine, there was drama in the Pond/Ebersole family household last evening. I was lounging on the couch, minding my own business while watching TV, and Mike mentioned that he had something to "discuss with me" and that he needed "my undivided attention." Now, typically when he says this, I was a bad boy. So, instincts kicked in, denying everything, fessing up to nothing, I just plain didn't do it.
And I wonder why he believes I have a guilty conscious. Well, I don't really have a conscious, I'm just used to being told I'm a bad person. Not that I'm debating the issue, I'm just saying.
So anyways, back to my original point. Apparently Mike's niece is getting married in the next couple of months and he got the wedding invitation a couple of days ago. It was addressed to Mike only, his name being the only one on the envelope and the actual invite. Now normally I would view this as an oversight or what not. I mean, people love me. I said that they LOVE ME, GOD DAMN IT and normally people would just assume that Mike would be bringing me along. 'Cause, you know, we're involved and everything :p.
Now that you have this bit of news, I'll take you back in time. A time when, two years ago, people regularly enjoyed running through the fields, picking wild flowers, and rolling around in the warm sunshine, not having a care in the world. Until we had our lil' get together that we threw for both sides of our families. It was very informal, just a get together where everyone came to our house and we had hamburgers and what not. It was a fun time held by all. All except the mother of said niece and her family. Afterwards we received a letter from her, explaining that she didn't come because that would mean that she accepted Mike and I's living arrangement and she said that she loved Mike over and over again but, frankly, he's going to Hell.
Well, Mike's not going to Hell, but I still have my one way express ticket in hand, so I wasn't super offended by it. I know that it upset Mike, as they were really close as children, but we moved on. There are some people that you can change their minds and there are others where, scream until you're blue in the face, they have that mind set. And it's those type of people that I don't want to waste my energy on. I have too much Warcrafting to do.
Amen.
Now, as a bit of history about said niece's mother, her and her husband are crazy Christian fanatics. I mean, they make my parents and grandparents look like anal-loving heathens (aka me). They have like, 13 children, never went to the hospital to birth them, and instead opted to give birth to them in the barn that the live in. Yes, they live in a barn due to the large amount of children that they have. And said barn is where they hold their "Revivals." They have lil' sects spread throughout the US of A and they travel to all of them, holding these "Revivals," preaching the word of God. Uhmm, last time I checked, that sounds like a cult to me. Ohh, and one of them had cancer but she refused an operation to remove it due to "God wants me to have this since he put it inside of me." Super F'ing Crazy.
So, you know you're not going to change these people's minds.
So Mike was worried about my reaction to the whole situation. I mean, after knowing said history about the family, you know that my name was left out on purpose and I'm not welcome. Well, not that I really wanted to go anyways, but it always feels nice to be invited anyways. However I'm not upset about it. I'm more irritated and upset about what this is doing to Mike 'cause Mike has no idea what to do now. He feels like he should go and witness the wedding but feels, well, excluded due to his "lifestyle choices." So, I called up 5 random people last night as to proper Wedding Etiquette/Protocol. It just so happens that the 5 random people that I happened to dial on my phone was my best friend and her family, my sister in law, and my mother. So, below are their suggestions:
1) Melissa (my best friend) - You don't want to ruin the bride's wedding. It's not like you wanted to go anyways, just send Mike to the wedding and be done with it.
2) Jackie (best friend's sister) - Call the bride, ask for her opinion (the invites were sent from the bride's parents. We're not sure how the bride feels about da' gays). If she says that she doesn't want you there, then both decline and send a gift.
3) Rosie (best friend's mother) - (And, FYI, my personal favorite opinion) Fuck 'em. Go anyways! You look hot in a suit !! Which, FYI, I totally do. At Melissa's brother's wedding, I think I got more compliments then the bride *laughs*.
4) Sister-In-Law - Normally I would say for Mike to go by himself but they sound like jerks, so decline and maybe send a gift.
5) Mommy - Casey, I know that you like being a rebel and *you* would go anyways but Mike may not be comfortable with doing that and upsetting his family. So I would suggest he either go by himself or decline, but it's up to you guys, whatever you guys are comfortable with.
So, there you have it, 5 random strangers' opinions on what we should do.
I spoke with Mike last night and he isn't sure as to what he wanted to do. I basically polled people last night due to the fact that I've only been to a very small number of weddings and I don't know wedding protocol all that well. So, my best friend's family has been to more weddings then they can even care to remember, Sister-In-Law was recently married a couple of years ago, and Mommy is a long-timed married woman steeped in tradition, so I figured that it would be a good mix of answers.
However I was hoping for one solid answer but it doesn't look like there's one to the "Excluding the gay uncle's lover due to the fact that they don't care for Uncle Mikey sucking Big Winky." I think that Emily Post needs to update her Etiquette manual.
I suggested Jackie's idea of calling the bride and seeing what she felt about it, as it *IS* her wedding. However he never speaks to her except at family get-togethers and essentially it's "hi, how are you doing" so he doesn't feel super comfortable asking her if it's alright if he brings his cock sucking boyfriend to a super fundamentalist wedding. Not really sure why though....
So I suggested that he speak with his father and step-mother, as they probably hear from the dreaded sister more then us (which is never) to see what their feelings are on the whole thing. Again, I have no problem with staying behind, believe you me. I just don't like seeing Mike being put into these type of situations because of people's closed minds. I mean, to exclude me because you just don't like me is one thing. Not that it ever happens, I'm fucking fabulous, everyone loves me. But to exclude me because I'm gay? That's kind of like excluding people because they're black :p.
Maybe I could be one of those sweet people that write to Annie's Mailbox and see what they would suggest in this type of situation? Hrrmmm...I may have to send off a quick email to them and see if they publish it!! Wouldn't that be fun! Then everyone in the entire country can give their opinions on what I should do! FUN!
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Casey....