Mortgaging My Soul, Once Again

Not that I typically complain about this, don't get me wrong.  However when Uncle Sam does this to me, I'm left holding my bottom while crying like a 3 year old bitch with a skinned knee.

Today I just did my 2006 taxes and it was painful.  And I couldn't even put it off because, as taxes aren't taken out of my paychecks, I do estimated taxes.  And, because I missed the 16th deadline to file my 4th quarter estimated taxes, I had to file by the 31st to not get screwed over by late payments and what not.  And, of course, my student loan paperwork doesn't get generated on their computer until the 31st at 12:01AM.  So, essentially, I have to wait until the last day in order to file my taxes every freaking year.  *UGH*

So, anyways, I did everything up today and, Ta-Da, I owe the federal government $2,300.  YEA!  Sure, I get around $500 back from the state, owe some more to the school and the city, so all in all, I get screwed.  Next year I'll have to pay more in on the estimated taxes so I don't get so super spanked next year.  

It just amazes me every time that I do my taxes that single people have to pay 25% taxes yet married people only have to pay 15%.  That just pisses me off.  And it's not that I don't *WANT* to get married, it's because I can't.  And there's no real reason why married people should get the tax break and not the single people.  I mean, for real, what type of expenses do married people have that single people don't?  It's just the government making social policy and it makes me want to kick them in the nuts.  I have expenses too people!  Do you realize how MUCH it costs to keep me this pretty?!  Well, not that much, as most of it is natural beauty.....

So, for our five year anniversary, Mike and I got a penthouse suite in Dayton this weekend.  Nothing super wonderful happened to be honest.  We went to La Comedia on Saturday evening where we saw "Steel Magnolias" which rocked.  I've never seen the movie or anything which is probably a good thing.  Apparently the movie and the play is completely different.  But Mike really seemed to enjoy it which was really the point of the whole evening.  :)  They also had their world famous Sweet Potato Souffle.  I have to tell you that I don't really care for sweet potato souffles.  But, seriously, you have to make it.  Just the souffle alone taste like candy let alone the topping.  I didn't eat the topping 'cause of the nuts in it but, YUM!  So I'm gonna have Mike make it this weekend and I'll prolly end up eating the whole thing by myself......moooooo.

Saturday afternoon Mike and I went to the Dayton Mall.  I was tipped off by Dell that they started taking orders for their laptops with Vista installed on them.  All of a sudden angels sang down from the Heavens and we all rejoiced.  I can finally get rid of this piece of crap laptop from Acer and get something decent.  So, anyways, to the mall we went and was looking around for computers.  Didn't buy anything but found the laptop that I wanted at the Dell Kiosk and I got to play around with it prior to buying it online for a LOT cheaper then through the kiosk.

So anyways, at the mall, we entered through the Macy's entrance.  Now, I love Macy's.  I love their clothes and their prices; it's just fabulous.  However I was greeted with something that scarred me for life.

Their makeup artists.

I was walking buy the makeup counter and looked over and, to my dismay, they looked like Bozo the clown sat on their faces.  Most of the male and female makeup artists had their hair colored red (and not natural red, we're talking Kool Aide Red), their makeup on WAY too heavy, and the guys had mohawks.  Ohhh, and one of the girls had her hair crimped.

Crimped.

I said that a second time because I wanted the full shock to strike you in the face as you toss around in convulsions.   Crimped hair was the most heinous crime.  The person that developed that hair style, I'm sure, is being punished in this life or their next one...or possibly both.  They should be prosecuted for war crimes at the International Criminal Court in the Netherlands.

Oh yea, and a simple make up tip everyone....less is more.  This is a rule that is old but stands the test of time.  Looking like a hooker is bad, looking polished is good!

And mohawks.  I'm not even sure I have to say anything about that.

So the next time that you feel it appropriate to make yourself look like Bozo's concubine...please, please think of the other people that has to cast their eyes on your crimped hair. 

I have many things to tell you but first and foremost, an apology must be made to all of my lovely readers.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that I wasn't able to stop it.

I tried everything that I could think of. I harnessed all of my gay super powers and unleashed it onto the plague. However that was fruitless.

I even sent my horde of Dressing Monkeys to New York and Paris with the most holy of missions. However, they were slaughtered while doing God's work by the dark ones with mohawks and crimped hair.

I did everything in my power but I still feel the compulsion to apologize to you all, as I should have done more...

Done more to stop the 80's darkening our decade as they did originally.

This is why history is so important my dear friends.

We dare not forget lest we repeat our transgressions against the Fashion Gods.

May we never forget the what that decade brought us and may the Fashion Gods have mercy on all of our souls.

So you've noticed that, for the past couple of days, I haven't blogged.  I even had an email from Jennifer, checking to see if I was still alive.  Well, rest assured, God himself would have problems killing me off.

So this weekend was very dramatic and stressful for me.  There were several moments where I was near tears and screaming like a babbling fool.  

I have to first say that, on Jennifer's blog, I was making fun of her about getting lost and driving around town.  She must have found out because I feel that her and Habib conspired to destroy me and my sanity.  Bastards...Bastards the both of you!!!!

So Friday, surprise surprise, I was playing Warcraft when the gods decided to punish me and took away my Internet.  Now, you all laugh at me...as techy savvy as I am, I always seem to be having problems.  It's either my laptop, cable, internet, cell phone...*sighs*.  I'm just destined to be without technology and I should just stick with chalk, smoke signals, and dial up porn *shudders*.

But anyways, I figured that it was just the network being down so I went to watch TV for about two hours and then went back and the internet was still down.  So I call Time Warner and was speaking with their tech support and both of us thought that it sounded like the cable modem that was malfunctioning.  She said that the earliest that someone could get here to replace the cable modem was Tuesday.

Without Internet from Friday until Tuesday?  As you can imagine, after the convulsions, I asked if there were any other  options that we can do.  I asked her if we can take our modem to our local Time Warner office and swap and she said that was fine.  So I asked her if our local office was open on Saturday, she checked, and said no.  I asked her where the nearest office was open on Saturdays.

Two hours away in Dublin, Ohio (a suburb of Columbus, OH).

You know what I did, don't you?  You all look at me, point, calling me a sick lil' addict!

Also, as a side note, Jessica and Travis were coming over to play Warcraft for Jessica's birthday on Saturday.  And, without Internet, no Warcraft.  So, in order to celebrate Jessica's birthday, it was necessary.

Yes, I used her birthday to rationalized my driving 2 hours one way to get my Internet access back.   You don't know me.

So Saturday morning comes and I head over to Dublin.  I get to the outside of Dublin and I go to call the Dublin office to see if I can get directions as Yahoo and Google maps wasn't able to find the address.  I spoke with a lady (not in the Dublin office) and got directions from her and felt that it would be easy.

O' so far from the truth I tell you.

One would think that, if the building as a Dublin address that, strangely, it would be located in Dublin.  Or, at the very least, out in the country of Dublin.  So, I followed the ladies directions and I drove through Dublin, out of Dublin, and I ended up in Upper Arlington, which is a suburb next to Dublin.  I thought to myself that I missed the building, turned around, and went back.  So, I went back and forth in between Dublin and Upper Arlington, screaming and cursing, calling Time Warner every 5 minutes, trying to get the Dublin office.  For some reason their phone system doesn't allow phone calls to be transfered from the main phone to the Dublin office.  They can pump videos through a small lil' wire but you can't transfer me to another office?  So the guy had to go back and forth with the lady in the Dublin office, trying to figure out where they were and how I can find them.

Needless to say, after driving around over an hour lost and confused, I find the building.  It's located inside of Upper Arlington.  I almost lost my mind.  It has a Dublin address yet it's located in another town.  Confusion....bastards!

So I get to the building and I walk up to the lady at the counter and the following conversation ensued:

Lady:  Hi, how can I help you?

Myself: Yes, my name is Casey and I need to swap out my cable modem, I'm having problems with it.

Lady: *asks for my phone number to pull up my account and looks at my cable modem*  Ohhh, we don't have anything that looks like this.

Myself: *nearly bursting into tears* What do you mean that you don't have anything like this?  I was told that I could pick up a cable modem here.

Lady: Well we have cable modems but this  looks completely different.

Myself:  *aggravated* Well show me what you have and I'll look at it and tell you if that's the right thing.

Lady:*gets what she thinks is what I'm looking for*

Myself:  *looks at it where the component clearly says "Cable Modem"* Well, yea, it says cable modem, that's it.

Lady:  *entering stuff into her computer*

Myself: You know, when you said you may not have the cable modem, I almost started crying.

Lady Next To Lady: Well you wouldn't want to do that, she'll probably laugh at you.

Lady:  Yea, I'm pretty ruthless.

Lady Next To Lady:  Yea, she saw this little girl in this ad and, while we all thought she was so cute, she thought she was the ugliest thing and she didn't understand why she was in a print ad.

Myself:  And I thought I was heartless!

Lady: Yea, it's a good thing you didn't start crying in here or I would have to make fun of you bawling like a baby.  And crying isn't attractive to women.

Myself:  Well I don't have to worry about that as I'm gay.

Lady:  Oh, well I would assume that it wouldn't be attractive to guys either.

Myself:  Well my boyfriend is a bigger crier then I am.  He bawls at movies and I'm typically laughing at the people 'cause they're in so much pain.

Lady:  Well it sounds like you guys are perfect for eachother

Well, we are *grins*

So, needless to say, I get home, plug in the cable modem and, strangely enough, it didn't work.

It was then that I felt the tears to ready to cascade down my face.  I then call Time Warner and, while talking with the guy, he mentioned that there wasn't enough signal getting to the cable modem.

It was then that Eureka struck me and, strangely, at the same time I cursed at myself.  We have a cable splitter in our Orange Room so that we can have a TV and cable box in the same room.  Apparently the splitter went bad.  I plugged the cable directly into the cable modem and, WOOT, it's working now!

5 hours of driving, endless screaming, and a few tears shed over a 2" by 2" silver component.

Jennifer, Habib....you will get your come 'upings.  *shakes his fists*

You will get your come 'upings!!!!!!!! 

I find it confusing to live in a society where it's not acceptable to be racist towards one sect of people and it not be acceptable towards another.   This injustice stems from an incident that I had at our local bank the other day and, for some reason, I just haven't had the time to blog about it until now.  Well, not for some reason, it's because of Warcraft if you really want to know.  But, anyways, moving forward....

I was driving to the bank and I noticed that gas was $1.99.  I did a little jig in my car as, for over a year I do believe, I haven't seen gas under $2.00.  I then drove by the Clark station in our town and noticed that, as always, they were 1 penny less.  ALWAYS 1 penny less, no more, no less, just .01 less then the competition.  So, needless to say, I was going to fill up before going home.

I get to the bank and I made a comment about the gas prices.  One of the ladies asked how much TJ's was (TJ's is a local gas station around here).  I told her that it was $1.99 but the Clark station was $1.98.  She then uttered these words:

"Well, I think I'll be going to TJ's anyways.  It's not like I'm discriminating or anything."

Wink Wink, Nudge Nudge.

As my faithful readers will come to understand in the up coming paragraph, I had an Ally McBeal moment where I leaped over the counter, grabbed her hair with my fist, and started to slam her face into a pile of rolled nickels until she was bleeding and begging for my forgiveness.  I then snapped out of it, smiled my ever-so-cute fake smile, and walked out appalled.  I seriously considered taking my business elsewhere if they didn't have my commercial loan...

Now as to why this comment offended me for those not from around here...

TJ's is locally owned and operated, owned by true Americans.  You know, the white and European kind.

The Clark station is owned by a Middle Eastern man who's Muslim.

Now you're starting to understand where I'm going with this post.

So, post 9/11, it's alright to bash Muslim people but it's non-PC for me to call black people the N word or think of Mexicans as lazy.

I find it revolting and it makes me angry when people think that, just because a few people decided to become terrorist that it puts Muslims into open hunting season.

While I don't particularly know the owner of the Clark gas station, I have met him a couple of times when he was working there.  He seems like a very nice man; always very polite and smiles.  He just doesn't really strike me as the terrorist that everyone feels that he is.  Or, if I purchase from his store, it's not funding terrorism.  Hell I've heard a couple of people that said that they won't shop there because, apparently, this Muslim man funds terrorism.  Because, as we all know, all Muslims are terrorists.

It's just Universal Truth.

It just saddens me that a small group of extremists can do something and everyone makes the assumption that all of them are like that.

So, needless to say, after the bank, I went and did my part for the Terrorism movement and filled my tank all the way up!

So, unless all of you have your heads stuck in the ground and haven't turn on your computer lately, MySpace.com is getting their asses sued by a couple of pissed off parents.

For those of you that have no idea what I'm talking about, I invite my 10's of readers to this Yahoo News Posting.

Now that you're enlightened, I must confess something.

I think that the parents should be punished for negligence and stupidity, not MySpace.  I can't seem to wrap my mind around the fact that a website that allows people to talk with each other can be sued because some parent weren't keeping close enough tabs on their sons/daughters.  I just find it outrageous that because your kids are really that stupid to meet up with strangers that they meet off of the internet without a friend, they get molested, cry about it, and apparently MySpace is to blame for it.  Yes, MySpace is negligent for the fact that your children are stupid and the parents are incompetent for allowing their children to probably have computers in their own room.  Yes, MySpace is negligent for the parents not supervising their children's activities enough.

If parents are really that concerned about their children being on the internet, they should have snooping/parental controls installed on the computer like what my parents had installed on our public computer.  Well, they had it installed on the computer because of my wee problem with porn.  *ahem*.   Or, heaven forbid if they can't afford the $30 to buy the software, they need to make sure that the computer can't be used when they're not home and able to supervise their children's activities.

Where are the parents in these situations?  Where are they *PRIOR* to their kids being molested and raped?!  I mean, they're Parents Of The Year, their poor babies just got rapped.  Well I hardly think that MySpace is at fault buckos.  I think that would be the fault of both you and your children.  They should know better not to meet up with strangers, at least alone, and you should know better to NOT leave your children unattended when they're on the computer.  That's like suing Gay.com because I hooked up with a gay online and got AIDS.

*rolls his eyes*

I hate MySpace.  I truly think it's a worthless website.  However I find it humorous that parents always love blaming others instead of themselves.  It's like parents blaming their children's actions on the music that they listen to.  And, while music may partially affect the mood that you're in, it won't make me sacrifice chickens and slaughter the masses.

I slaughter the masses, not because the music tells me so, it's because God deems it necessary.  The stupid people must be destroyed and God has called upon me to wipe them out.

As Jess says, "Kill them all and let God sort it out."

And I shall. 

So I was over at my best friend's house, Melissa, for our weekly ritual of watching Grey's Anatomy.  We were really getting into it, laughing and commenting on the latest buzz at Seattle Grace Hospital, drinking their "Holiday Punch," which is this slushing alcoholic drink, eating popcorn, having a lovely time.

O' yea, and I was especially pretty today.

But you all already knew that, I'm sure.

So, anyways, there was this moment where George's father was dieing and it was all sad and everything.  I acknowledge the fact that it was a sad moment.  But Melissa and her mother were crying.  Like, sniffling and sobbing and using a tissue to dab their eyes.  And here I was, just staring at the TV, not even really moved.  I recognized that the scene was sad but I wasn't moved emotionally.   In fact when I saw them crying I had to stifle my laughter 'cause I found it humorous. 

Does that make me a bad person, to laugh at someone's pain and suffering?

I find myself always amused by other people's misery and I have to say that, well, it disturbs me slightly.  Not so much as I'm going to do anything to change it but I know that people may be put off with my laughing at them when they're in tears.

Maybe my momma was right, maybe I am just dead inside.

Or maybe I'm just more masculine and guyish then people give me credit?

Nah, I'm dead on the inside, that has to be the only logical explanation. 

*cries*

I have to preempt this posting by saying the following:

I'm illiterate.  I know that I am and that my spelling/grammar abilities are not up to snuff and I bow down to Jennifer and Jessica for their Super Spelling Ways.

However, despite my illiteracy (which is my only imperfection, FYI!), it drives me crazy when people can't *really* spell and use grammar.  I would have to say that my spelling/grammar is probably average, if not slightly above average.  Jessica may disagree, pointing at me with much flare, screaming about how my parents must have never spoken to me as a child and as a result I can't speak correctly.

However, Jessica, I, and soon the rest of the world, have come to the conclusion that there are worse people than Casey, Spelling Extraordinaire.

My favorite cousin ever since I was little is named Drina.  She lives in Indiana on the other side so I don't get to see her that often and it was always a special treat to see her when we were little.  And I still do love talking with her at get togethers and what not.  However, letters and emails from her are always...challenging.  Here's a small sample that I got today for your viewing pleasure. 

I don't think anyone who wants to defend there country and see the illegal criminals pay for there crimes and to have justice to stop illegal aliens from taking over our country to be called racist if anything we are doing what another person in another country would do to try to stand up for there country, there home. 

And another sample, just for fun:

This whole situation slaps all of our Military in the face who risk there own life to keep the United States the best country in the World to live. Maybe, I feel more strong about that because my husband is a United States Soldier. I know all Military wife's, husbands, and families feel the same way.

Notice on the last sample where wife's should be wives.

And I don't blame her at all, really.  I really do blame the school system.  They should emphasize grammar and spelling a lot more than what they really do.  I think a lot of schools they tend to gloss over these.  I mean, in my particular classes they did gloss over them but that's because I took AP English and what not; we were expected and required to have the basics down.  Yea, I know, I'm illiterate and took AP English, who would have guessed!?

I think this is just an example where a child was left behind in the learning process.  Not that I'm super sure as to how and fix it; I'm not really sure there is a fix.  It's just kind of sad when you see stuff like this.  And it's not because she's dumb by any stretch of the imagination.  I think it's really because she just doesn't know any better.

Which is always better then being stupid.  Ignorance can always be corrected; Dumb is forever.

Well and me being pretty.  That will always hold up to be true! 

Don't judge me until you read what I have to write, ok?  Sure, I may be a soulless freak that likes to get a lil' freaky in the bedroom, but I do love my indoor plumbing.   A lot.

So, there's been a leak under the kitchen sink at the agency for a week.  So most nights, prior to my brother going home, he turns the water off so that the water doesn't overflow the bowl we have under it.  However he's been typically leaving around 3:30.  I'm here until 5:30.  So two hours without running water.  Which isn't a big deal as the water here, I feel, is toxic.  I'm pretty sure that the well that it draws its water from has an obscene amount of pesticide runoff from the neighboring fields right surrounding the agency on 3 sides.  That and it smells like, well, shit.  But anyways, the water is dangerous.  However it's good enough for me to pee in, not that "it being good enough for me" really, truly means anything *laughs*.

So anyways, a couple of days last week and just today I had to pee outside.  Again, it's out in the country, surrounded by fields, so again, it's not that bad.  Except for today.  It's raining...really really cold rain, like almost freezing rain.  So, here I am, standing out in the rain with my leather jacket and cashmere scarf on with my jeans around my ankle (well not really), peeing by the house, getting soaked with chilled rain.  At least I would have an excuse if someone saw my winky at that point in time...could just tell them that it's cold!

The plumber is coming out tomorrow morning to fix the leak so I won't have to go through this again.  I just figured that I would let everyone know that, while you guys think that you have it bad, just think of me standing out in the rain, winky in hand, soaked with freezing rain, whimpering softly because all I really want is an outhouse to keep me and my winky dry. 

So, I was sitting at work, minding my own business, getting a couple of things done prior to going out to lunch this morning.  This elderly lady comes in (she'll be 80 next month she says) and she was talking with my brother about this invoice that she got in the mail for her insurance and she made the following comment:

"I didn't know that you guys would be open today or not since the banks and the post office are closed.  I think it's the stupidest thing to close down for Martin Luther King since he was such a racist."

Travis did the "are you cracked out of your mind yet concealed as a 'I agree'" laugh, I stopped typing on my keyboard and just stared at my monitor, wondering if I heard that right, and our office manager Jane just looked at Travis in amazement.

So, it's official, the 80 year old lady said it, he's a racist.  It must be true.

However, prior to bashing this little old lady on my blog, I decided to do what every person should do prior to performing public slander:  Research.  I invite everyone to The Myths of Martin Luther King.

I read over the page and look over point number one, since that's really the only myth that applies to him being a racist.  Essentially what they're talking about is affirmative action, which is a fun topic to debate about.  But here is my two cents.

It was necessary back then, I 100% believe that.  Back then, from what I gather, there wasn't all of this PC stuff where you're supposed to treat people the same, think of them the same, Rodney King them the same...all the same, regardless of their skin color.  To give blacks and other minorities a fighting chance in the work place they needed quotas in order to break down the barriers to show the employers that, indeed, just because they're black on the outside doesn't mean that they're incompetent or lazy.

However I do think that it's a different story today.  I realize that there is still racism and, more then likely, always be racism.   However I think that the blatant amount of racism is gone and I think that affirmative action is more hurting society then helping it.  I think that the best person should be hired, regardless of race.  Affirmative Action is reverse racism, plain and simple.  And I just don't think that it's necessary now.  At least, this is just my observance and opinion :)  However there aren't many black people in this area, as it's 99% white and most of the other 1% are Hispanics...

So maybe, in that 80 year old lady's mind, what he was suggesting was racism.  And, yea, it is racist.  However it was a necessary step in the social progression of this country so that, late at night, when that 80 year old lady is walking down the street, she won't hold her purse a little more tightly when a black man walks next to her.