Mortgaging My Soul, Once Again

I didn't even think that this was possible.

I mean, how is Walmart supposed to spread love, joy, and cheap knock-off clothing to the masses if they are denied entrance into a major city?!

I beg...no, plead...no, INSTRUCT! you to call the city council of San Diego, tell them the evils of their decision, and send me money!

Sure, the money has nothing to do with this cause.  But, really, I would benefit from it.  And that's all that matters. 

Well folks, it looks like we'll be getting different money in the States in a wee bit.  Apparently our current money system discriminates against the blind folks.

Blind Currency 

Now when I first read this I laughed and found it absurd.  However, after thinking about it for a few moments, I realized that, "Hey, this is probably a good idea." I guess we just take it for granted that we're able to spend money and knowing *how* much we're giving to the cashier.  If memory serves me correctly, the blind would have the bills folded in their wallet in different ways to indicate which bill is which.  However, if the "seeing" person folded it wrong and the cashier was less-than-honest, I can see the issues with that system.

But I don't want different sized bills.  That'll piss me off.  I want raised bumps or something like that; make the money textured.  Not that I would notice, as I hardly use cash.

I'm all for making it easier for the handicapped.  However, I worry when I see ATMs with Braille on the buttons.  Because, as we all know, the blind drivers that we have need assistance with the drive-up ATMs

If you've ever wondered what it would be like to have sex with Fozzy The Bear off of the Muppets, check this link out:

http://www.plushieschwartz.com/drinkie/

I think my favorite part was when the bear was getting it on and his plastic eyes was rolling all around.

And, be forewarned, this is actual sex sex, not simulated sex.

However, it's gay sex, so it's pure family fun quality.

Enjoy! 

So, now that I've posted about Magical Vaginas, lets dig into the real dirt, shall we?

So, for those of you that aren't "in the know," my boyfriend has spending issues.  And, I didn't realize how bad it was until one day I was going through the mail because he asked me to pay a bill (prior to this, I never did this, as it was his mail and really none of my business!).  So, I was flipping through the stuff and noticed he had huge ass credit card balances (I have no balances) and even put an equity line of credit on the home.  I was pissed.  Sure, my name isn't on the home, so I have no legal right to bitch.  But, we've lived and maintained the home for the past 3 years, you would think that he would have at *LEAST* mentioned it to me.  And, when I asked him what the line of credit was for, he couldn't remember. 

wooooohhhhh

You don't even remember what the line of credit was for?  Ok, you need financial help.

So, we agreed that he would deposit his check into my account and I would either give him an allowance or money as needed, his choice.  We first started to do the money as needed bit but then realized that it was a lot of hassle to run to the ATM super often as I never carry cash on me.  I put everything on my credit card and pay it off religiously every month.  So, anyways, enough patting on my back.

Everything has been going pretty well except this past week.  Referencing the bling that Mike got for me that I talked about in a prior post, I wasn't super happy about the gift when I found out how much it was.  The whole package cost a wee over $200.  So, I got an email this afternoon, stating that he got me "another Christmas present."

Shit

So, he got me tickets to Kathy Griffin.  I was freaking excited as I LOVE KATHY!!!!!  I mean, she makes me wet my panties I love her so much.

However, he also sent me copies of the tickets so that I can print them off so that we can take them to the door.  They were, total, 80 bucks.  So, Christmas for me cost almost 300 this year.  And he isn't supposed to be getting me anything this year.

God Damn Him

I'm supposed to be showing him to be responsible with his money and the past week or so he's been fucking irresponsible.  And it's not like he's blowing it on gambling, booze, and what not.  I tried to tell him that this evening.  It's just that he's spending it on unnecessary stuff that we don't need.  Yet he's up to his neck in hock and I'm trying my damnedest to help him and I just feel like I can't.

I even made a comment that I was surprised that his credit card hasn't been maxed out, as the one card that I thought he was using was almost maxed out; the one I'm trying to pay off.  And he said that he had another credit card, the one that I PAID OFF RECENTLY, and put it on there.

I...I almost freaked out.  I'm just really pissed at the moment; I'm so fed up with it.

I'm half tempted just to tell him that he's responsible for his debt again.  I'll pay for a good chunk of the bills but I think that, since he's 46 and I'm 26, he should be able to control his spending habits.  It's stupid that, being 20 years his junior, that I'm trying to help his spending.

And *then* I asked him as he was laying down to go to bed if he spoke with his brother about rescheduling coming over to our place this Saturday.  Now, this is the same date that the Sullivan Family Gathering thingy is.  And Mike knew that we were having this on Saturday.  He's known for months.  However, he told his brother it was fine to come over and fix these odds and ends around the house.  Unacceptable.  So, I asked Mike if he spoke with his brother, he said no he hasn't.  And then he said that his brother won't be able to do it the next weekend 'cause Mike will be out of town on business.  So, what about next weekend?  "I think I'm doing something."  Well what about the weekend after that?  My point behind this is that he's never met that part of my family and I've had several people on that side ask about him and wanted to meet him.  I think it's pretty shitty to be sitting around and making plans on a date where he knew he would be doing something with me and meeting my family that he's never met before and *then* being reluctant about rescheduling his plans.  I understand that you can forget about something that's planned so far in advance.  But you need to rectify the situation as soon as you find out; that's what really pisses me off.

It just pisses me off and it makes me wanna jump up and down like a bunny and scream.

Stupid men. 

I think in my next life I'll be a lesbian.  Sans Flannel Shirts.  I'll be one of those fancy Lipstick Lesbians.  I'll be a hot one that does hot lesbian porn.  *licks lips* 

I know that you look at the title of this posting and you think to yourself, "There's no such things as Magical Vaginas."

However, I think the very definition of a Magical Vagina is "A vagina that is first not there and then, with a wave of your hand, magically appears into existence in front of you."

Apparently Britney Spears has a Magical Vagina.  And, according to ancient lore, the only way to kill a Magical Vagina is to stuff it with moth balls, pickle it, and then burn the body that it's attached to at the stake while dancing around it, doing the ancient "Monkey Dance."

And, while all of you that know me realize that I'm not a fan of stuffed, pickled, toasty vaginas (even though the Monkey Dance is a favorite of mine), I do have to say that I would do this.  Not for my sake or my family's sake, but for the sake of humanity.

And, for those of you that dare to stare into the Pit of Darkness And Despair, I bid you good health and tidings and enter here.  Be sure to click on the smaller photos below the larger photo to get to the real juicy, yet soul destroying, photos.  Sure, I survived, but when you don't have a soul, you don't have much to lose Precious.

This is just straight up sick, and I have to say that you should not attempt this at homes boys and girls.

Never, ever microwave your baby, irregardless of how tasty it sounds or how chilled your baby gets.  Call me old fashioned, but I think that you should throw some clothes on the kid.

You guys are confused, I know.  Let me enlighten you.

I was watching the news, a rarity for me as I rather spend my time, watching reruns of Will & Grace and Married With Children.  However, I felt festive this evening and was watching the news and was horrified to hear this disgusting, wretched story.

In Dayton, OH, this mother killed her month old daughter in a microwave.

Here's the link:  http://www.wdtn.com/dsp_story.cfm?storyid=66448&RequestTimeout=500 

And, if she really did it, she really, really needs to be tortured.

Slowly. 

I'm totally confused.

I'm watching Southpark and there's this children's singing group, where they're sing about the rainforest and what not.  And, thekid's group is "Getting Gay With Kids," or G.G.W.K. for short.

And, WTF?  For real?  I mean, it doesn't even make any sense...just, so, so confused.

Also, I've been emailing my cousin in Indiana for the past couple of weeks off and on.  I haven't really spoken to her in 2 years; however we were pretty close as kids.  And, it's weird.  Not in this creepy sort of weird; just off.  I can't remember the last time that someone was tip-toeing around me about me being gay.  Like, she has no problem with me being gay...she just doesn't want to offend me.  Like, she used the word "gay" and then asked if I was offended by that term.  *laughs*  I told her that I didn't care if she used gay, homo, fag, queer, whatever, just as long as it wasn't in a nasty context.  And then the last email she was going off on how gays are people too and she didn't understand why people viewed them any differently.  And, I was like, "uhhmm, you don't need to convince me, I get that."  I guess it's kind of like arguing against racism to a black person.  *smirks*.  I just found it kind of odd, but whatever :)   She has the best intentions at heart...I just find her kind of funny sometimes hehe

I think that Mike is trying to get out of the Sullivan Fall Holiday Gathering this Saturday.  Some of his family were supposed to come up this past Saturday to take the organ (there is a God if that bitch is taken away!!!!), the evil elliptical machine, and maybe even the broken down chair.  Mike was talking about giving the broken down chair to charity.  I was like, "Mike, the wooden handle thing on the chair is chewed on from when Zoie was a puppy, the chair is broken and all crappy, and you want to give it away to *charity*?!!?!"  You only give *slightly used* items to charity.  You don't give them crap, that's just rude!  And they were also supposed to help Mike with our fan in the bathroom, as it makes this evil sound whenever you use it; hence why we haven't used in about a wee over a year.

But anyways, it was supposed to happen last week but they are wanting to schedule it for this coming Saturday.  And Mike seems kind of weird about going to this lil' gathering.  And, he's going whether he likes it or not, biootch!

I've been unhappy with the skin on my blog and what not just because the links were crazy hard to read.  I mean, dark pink on dark gray isn't the best color choices.  However, maybe that was my intent all along.  For those of you that had issues reading the links, you would be forced to go to Walmart and buy one of their "Super Gay Items," the Reading Glasses.

Yes, yes Precious.  My blog alone will create a huge surge for the reading glasses, causing Walmart's financials to triple, which will cause them dump even more money into creating and marketing gay items and building more Activity Centers (aka whore houses) for The Gays.  *Evil Cackle and Rubs Hands Together All Sinister And Diabolical-Like*

And now that you all know my evil and twisted plans, I'm tracing all of your IP addresses and The Precious will hunts you, kills you, and feeds on you.  I'm sorry, but the plan must go off without a hitch, and I can't afford the general public knowing.....

May Walmart and The Precious be praised.

Amen 

So, I have to tell you my revelation that I had today.

I've seen in a couple people's blogs, when they reply to their own blog, it says "created by the blog's author" or something like that.  However, mine never did it and it was pissing me off.  So, I actually took 10 minutes out of my day to find it out.  And, hot damn, I did it.

I just logged into my blog, clicked on the "view blog" link, and then just replied to the posting.  Sure, I got the reply emailed to me "which is retarded," but it says that it was created by the blog's author.  So now I don't have to type in the bizarre random code in order to post.

Sweetness.... 

You think that, by reading the title of this blog post, that I'm talking about the cult classic movie.

However, I'm not. I'm talking about the most horrible thing I've seen in quite some time. May the Precious have mercy on all of our souls, as it's coming, and there's nothing that we can do to stop it.

I've petitioned the US Movie Theater Commissioner, Roger Ebert, and Columbia Pictures....begged them to stop this. However, my pleadings fell on deaf ears.

Of course I'm talking about the new Rocky movie, Rocky Balboa. I first heard about this when I was watching the new James Bond movie, Casino Royale, and I must admit that I was very horrified when I saw the preview. I was screaming inside of my head during the whole thing.

I mean, it didn't shock me that the only person that would direct and write the movie was Sylvester Stallone because no one would touch that type of movie. *sighs* The last movie was made in, what, the 80's? And the movie isn't realistic. This guy that's, what, 50 competing against this 20something boxer??

It's just, stupid shit like that just makes me wanna hurt myself.....