I Was Once Half-Broken...
And now I'm not working at all.
Thank you Mr. Cable Man, it was worth taking half of the day off!
First of all, I'd like to send a message to my 10's of readers how sorry I am for not blogging for about two weeks. It's just that I haven't had anything super eventful in my life happen and, while I'm sure I could have made something up, Warcraft was calling me. Damn Warcraft and its seductive call! Damn it all to Hell!!
*whispers* I don't really mean it Precious...Love you....
So this is essentially an update on what's been going on as I don't have anything super crazy to blog about.
Oh!! Well, something kinda funny happened today. Well, not so much funny as sad. I had to take a half a day off because the Mr Cable Man would be here around 1-5. Don't you love those appointments? But anyways, I was sitting around the house from 1 on, watching some TV, eating lunch, doing laundry that's been pileing up for 2 weeks...what, you're asking yourself, "you really have that much underwear to last you two weeks?!" Well...no, but we won't go into that.
So, anyways, I was in the middle of a load, watching Judge Judy ripping some bum's ass when I heard Mr Cable Man knock on the door. As for anyone that's ever been to my house, in order to enter you have to first bypass the Sacred Guardian of the Household, my Demondog Zoie. She'll threaten you with howling barks, throwing herself into your pelvic region, and leg humpings. So, in order to prevent a lawsuit, I always have to pick her up, contain her evillness, open the door, and manage to have a small, "Hi, nice to see you" greeting while the dog is trying to consume the visitor's soul.
So, I get the dog into her cage and, while it can't contain her barking and vicious thirst for human souls, it does prevent her from plumeting people with her body and humpings. So I told the guy what the issue was and he checked the signal inside; very, very poor. We're able to have the front TV going and the internet connection going, but we can't have the two TVs and the internet connection going at the same time. So, he goes outside to check the connection to our house to see what's going on. Apparently the people that buried our cable line last year after the dumb ass drove into our yard while falling asleep and knocking over the cable pole forgot to seal some type of connection and water got into it, causing the signal to degrade. So he repaired that and also replaced the box outside on the pole and also on our house and, in theory, should have made our lives and TV watching whole.
However, during this time of being disconnected and him reinstalling everything, an evil plague grew over the lands and concentrated over Time Warner and consumed the lovely cable TV connections with its destructive poison, causing a major software glitch in their whole system. So, when he got everything repaired and turned on the TVs, it got all of the updates but then started acting really bizarre. Like, I can't pull up the onscreen guide (*cries*) and you can't select a channel without actually PUNCHING in the channel numbers, then hit select, then hit exit. THEN, once you're on a channel for about 20 minutes, the whole screen will fade as if the DVR is paused and it goes into a screen saver mode.
However, this isn't the repair guys' fault. He felt really bad 'cause, well, it makes him look really bad. However, I know that the blame really falls on Satan for trying to destroy one of the few joys that I get outa life. Bastard...Bastard!
And, while this was all happening, Mike called me and said that the lawn mower repair guy is coming out in a few minutes and I need to wheel the riding mower outside and put the key in their so that he can just take it. Fine, I can do that, right?! Seems very simple. Yet...not so much.
I look for the lawnmower key and have no idea where it's at. Mike tells me it's inside the house, hidden by the furnance. Because, as you all know, there's been a crazy rash of riding lawn mowers from inside people's garages in the theft-free town of Rockford. So, I had to locate the key and, once inside the garage I look at the mower and realize that, during the winter, a lot of stuff has acumulated on it. There was an old comforter and pillows that need to be destroyed and also various trash sitting on it. Needless to say I'm ashamed of how the garage looks. Anyways, I have to first move my car out in the freezing cold. I then eyeball the situation and, *sighs*, our old chair is sitting right behind the mower. So, using my awesome might, I get the chair scooted out of the way. Now, I call once again upon my strength and, while the mower was in neutral, I moved it into the driveway, popped the key in the mower, and away I went back into the house to see how Mr Cable Man was coming along. After he left I checked outside and the mower is gone, so I'm assuming that someone took it. It might not have been the repair man but, at the very least, someone took it. And, really, that was my job and it was accomplished.
So, in just a couple hours I spruced up the house (aka make the bed), did three loads of laundry, survived a Mr Cable Man experience, used my Super Human Strength to navigate the mower out of the perilas garage, and still had time to have lunch and Judge Judy.
All and all a very productive day.
