Mortgaging My Soul, Once Again

And no, I'm not talking about religious salvation.  I'm talking about something that impacts everyone, regardless of religious beliefs.

I'm talking about Girl Scout Cookies.

I got an email from Mike the other day, telling me that it was the last day to order Girl Scout Cookies and if he should get some more.  Now, here I am at home, hording my Girl Scout Cookies under lock and key, debating if we should get more.  We already had 6 boxes of those succulent morsels in our cupboard, but I craved, neigh, needed more.  However, I stood strong and told him no, we don't need any more.  Besides, I had 2 boxes left of my lovelies, Tagalongs.  So, surely, I was good for awhile.

Two days later Mike left for a business trip and me, being the addict that I am, decided to play Warcraft.  It got down to lunch time and I decided that I couldn't leave the computer for more then 3 minutes at a time so that left no time to make myself anything for lunch.  So I made the executive, yet poor, decision to just have Girl Scout Cookies for lunch.

What, I'm chunky and proud!

I opened up the cupboard and, to my dismay, there were no boxes of cookies.

Gone.

I started to panic and started opening up other cupboards, holding onto the glimmer of hope that they were put in with the cups, dishes, or even the spices.  No...I couldn't find them.  I started carefully inspecting the counter top through all of the mail and what not, hoping that some paperwork or bills were covering My Salvation.  

Much to my dismay, they were no where to be found.  Out of desperation and pure panic, I called Mike on his cell phone.  He answered and, not even saying "Hi, how's your drive going?" or "honey, it's only been 4 hours but I miss you like the dickens" what poured outa my mouth was, "Where in the hell are the Girl Scout Cookies?!?!"

"They're all gone," said Mike.

"But...but there were 2 boxes of my Tagalongs and half a box of your Thin Mints....two days ago!"

"Well honey you ate them pretty quickly."

I searched back inside my mind and, counting up the handfuls I would grab while walking by them or the times I would be watching TV and eating them like popcorn, I feared that he was right.

He then happened to point out that "I told him not to order any more."

Ohhh, so you listened to me, did you?  Well, gee, my crack-addicted stomach thanks you!

So, the next day my brother and I were in Walmart, picking up a few things for work and he happened to go into the cookie aisle.  We, strangely enough, were out of them at work.  Yes, we had a stash at work, you don't know us!!  So, we looked down the aisle, trying to find a suitable substitute for our addictions.  He picked up one box and I picked up some cookies flavored like Reese Cups.  Now, for those of you that don't know me too well, I love chocolate/peanut butter combinations and I'm a Reese Cup whore.  So, I figured that this would be a nice substitute for my Tagalongs, which I was still mourning.

We get back to the office and, right after looking through our messages, we started to plow through our cookies like the gluttonous bastards that we are.  And, come to find out, they just weren't the same.  Sure, they were good, but they weren't Girl Scout Cookie good.

This is the time of year that I hate.  The time where the world gets a little darker and everyone's smiles get a little colder.  Everyone's going through Girl Scout Cookie withdraws and the only thing that keeps us going is the thought of a warmer, brighter world where Girl Scout Cookies are bountiful and rain from the Heavens to greet our gaping and cavity-filled mouths.

Ahhhhh, if only such a world existed....