HIV As A Social Disease
I was on gay.com last evening as I was burnt out from playing Warcraft all damned day. I know, I know, I didn't think that it could happen but, strangely enough, it did. I think I was only on there for probably about an hour, saying hi to a few people that I haven't seen for quite some time, etc. I was in the general chat room for a city near here and all of a sudden this guy posted in the general room, "I can't believe you guys didn't tell me that <soandso> had AIDS! I had to find out for myself!!!"
This peaked my interest as it deviated from the general discussions revolving around winkies and asses. So, being the curious creature that I am, I asked him how did he find out. He said that him and this guy was going to hook up but, prior to doing so, the individual told him.
Now that I have a huge problem with. HIV/AIDS is as much of a social disease than a medical one. People find out that you have it and a large number automatically assume three things:
1) You're gay/deviant/crazy pervert
2) You got it from unprotected sex, you barebacking monkey!
3) They may get it from you just by being near you. Well, logically they know this to be not true, but watch their faces if someone with HIV accidentally coughs near/on them.
People are just fucking scared of it. They're scared of death. Just like leprosy, a lot of times they are ostracized from the community as the plague-carrying-barebacking-monkeys that they are. I've read several articles online and in magazines where they talk about the social aspect of the disease and it saddens me. Recently infected individuals that, not only are coming to grips with their own sickness and mortality, have to also deal with people that they counted on as friends/family shunning them because of fear/ignorance.
People may disagree with me, but I believe with every fiber of my being that how <soandso> dealt with the situation is the only correct and responsible way of handling situations such as dating or the infamous hookup. You tell the person privately that, prior to us taking the next step into our relationship/5 minutes of talking before fucking, you need to know that I'm Positive. This doesn't mean that you have to sleep with them anyways, that's your choice. I once dated a Positive man for about a month or so but I never slept with him. I couldn't get past the fear, I'll be honest. But that's your body and your choice, you don't *HAVE* to sleep with someone. So, you tell him thanks for letting you know but you're not willing to take that risk and move on to the next 5 minute conversation/hookup.
So, once I pointed this out to the guy that was yelling it in the general chat room, he first said, "Well I thanked him for telling me before we hooked up!" Well, gee, how nice of you to return his kindness :p. And, frankly, if you're doing a lot of hookups, your risk is crazily increased that the person that you've known all of 5 minutes is infected. That's just common sense, I don't have statistics to back that up. Publicly shunning and shaming them will only make them not tell someone next time. Hence the cycle of HIV infection continues. Stupid, stupid people.
Basically, if you're gonna sleep with someone, find out their sexual history first. Understand the people lie, that is our nature. If you don't know FOR CERTAIN, then put on a fucking condom! Or, hell, once you meet up with them from online and they look extra scuzzy, put on two!!!
